There's a curious intersection near chez fool. Though it clearly screams for a stoplight, given that it's a pretty highly traveled intersection, it's controlled by four-way stop signs.

It's located at the entrance to a neighborhood populated entirely by Type-A personalities and people running late for appointments, which should make the intersection's danger obvious. Adding a degree of difficulty to the mixture is the fact that vehicles entering the intersection are frequently occupied with combustible combinations of the Type-A's and chronically tardy. That can tend to shorten the fuse a bit.

I've seen several near misses, there. I've seen fender benders. I know of one accident in which there was a fatality. About once per week, somebody gets a ding in their car at the intersection. Notwithstanding, no one yet has thought to strengthen the degree of guidance drivers are given when approaching the intersection by illuminating it.

Despite its danger, I never thought I'd see what I saw this morning: an actual four-car accident featuring one vehicle from each road at the intersection.

It was still a little dark outside, but light enough that none of the cars had their headlights burning, and each of the corners is obscured to a degree by shrubbery or, on one corner, a brick wall.

So, here's the way it happened (please pardon the crude diagrams...I've never boasted that I'm an artist):

Fig. 1: Pre-accident positions

Each of the four cars, labeled here as A, B, C, and D, arrived at the intersection at roughly the same time. I am the figure labeled Me (See Fig. 1 above).

Fig. 2: Initial impact

The driver of Car C attempted to make a left-hand turn in front of Car A. The driver of Car A, not willing to give an inch of leeway to anyone, attempted to proceed straight through the intersection, at which point, Cars A and C crunched their fenders into one another in a graceless and noisy ballet, following which the drivers of Cars A and C began to blame each other loudly for attempting to occupy the same space at the same time, which simple physics deems impossible (Fig. 2).

At this point, I paused and a red exclamation point appeared in a thought bubble above my head, indicating my shock at having witnessed the tragedy.

Fig. 3: Secondary fallout

Shortly after the impact between Cars A and C, the drivers of Cars B and D became impatient and attempted to leave the scene, each desiring to proceed straight through the intersection. Because Cars A and C were still occupying a majority of the intersection, the drivers of the remaining cars were forced to drive around the injured vehicles. Unfortunately, they each attempted to do so simultaneously, each apparently unaware that the other was executing his intended maneuver (Fig. 3).

As a result, Cars B and D made contact, and I started ROFLing. Curious about the commotion caused by the accident, the drivers swearing at each other, and yours truly still ROFLing, people began gathering to watch the aftermath.

After a short time, a member of the local law enforcement authorities appeared on the scene amd handed me a personal invitation to appear in traffic court on September 22, 2009, at 10:45 a.m. to explain to the judge exactly how this intricate dance took place.