Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Could Be Interesting

A kid in my daughter's class is a big fan of both Batman and Superman. Faced with a question of which he'd like to be for Halloween, he got creative.

He's decided to go as Superman wearing a Batman costume.

This I gotta see.

posted by the fool at 9:35 PM 1 comment(s)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Anitpodal Blogging

An idea hit me in the middle of the night.

It may sound like yet another meme, but it's not. I hate memes, so this can't be one.

So, here's the way it works:

First, look through your blogroll and find the blogger whose location is the furthest from you on the globe. If your blog doesn't have a blogroll, then pick a blog you read regularly and use that one. Figure out the distance between your location and theirs in miles. Google can give you a bunch of links to sites that have a distance calculator. You'll need that distance to add to the running total.

Second, post it on your blog. Be sure to include:
1. A link to their blog.
2. The distance from your location to theirs.
3. Add that distance to the running total stated in the blog post that tagged you and list the new total.
4. A link to the post in which you were tagged.

Third, let the other blogger know, via e-mail, a comment, carrier pigeon, or however else you communicate with others, that you've listed them as your faraway friend and let them know it's their turn. Be sure and let them know how this is supposed to work.

If it happens (and it's likely) that the person who tagged you is also the farthest from your location, go with the second farthest. No point in having you both post back and forth ad infinitum. Even though that would give you both something to post on those blocked days when your brain's gone dry, it would be just plain stupid.

In theory, people should be able to follow the path back to the origin (which is here) and forward to the latest.

I have determined that the blogger farthest from me is my Aussie friend Chosha, of A Little East of Reality. She's roughly 9,725 miles away from me, and since this is the first post in this non-meme, that's also the running total. And since this is the first post, there's nobody for me to give a link-back since I wasn't tagged.

Your turn, Chosha!

posted by the fool at 8:41 AM 1 comment(s)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
It Just Went Off

Per Krissy's request in her comment to my rather brilliant compare and contrast chart from my previous post, here's the story of how the bullet hole ended up in the floor of my Jeep.

Several years ago, I bought a little .380 pistol for my (now ex-) wife for protection. My profession at the time involved dealing with some shady folks who got irritated at me from time to time, and I thought it best, in case any of them should visit my home, that she should have some means of protecting herself.

After I bought the pistol, I took her out to show her how to shoot it. I explained to her how it worked, how to hold it, how to aim, and how to squeeze on the exhale, and how to keep it safe. She seemed to grasp the concept, so I let her pull the trigger with no bullet in the chamber, just so she could get the feel of it. Once she was comfortable with that, I loaded it and gave her the fire at will command.

She fired exactly one shot. It missed the target by at least 20 feet, leading me to believe that the safest place in town if she were armed would be behind the target.

The report from the gun was loud enough (that little sucker could yell, a lot more than I expected) and the recoil was harsh enough that she apparently was offended by it. After she fired the shot, she turned around and, with a wide-eyed look of sheer terror on her face, handed the gun to me. Unfortunately, the safety lesson was apparently lost in her discombobulation, and she was pointing the gun directly at my midsection. This, of course, led me to the conclusion that the most dangerous place in town if she were armed, was behind her.

Luckily, no further shots were fired and I didn't suffer any wounds. Not that a dinky little .380 would do a whole lot of damage, but I was worried that it might get infected.

The gun made it back into my bag and I forgot about it until the next time I went hunting. During a break in the hunt, I took the pistol out and decided to take a few shots with it. It was very cold that day, and I think all the gunk the manufacturer put on it to keep it from rusting in the box while it was still on the shelf got really thick, and the gun jammed on the first shot. My hands were so cold that I couldn't clear the jam, so I just set it on the floor of my Jeep and went on with the hunt.

A few hours later, while we were all standing around telling dirty jokes and scratching ourselves as men are wont to do when doing manly things, we heard a muffled boom from the direction of the Jeep. At first, I thought a tire had blown out, but a quick walkaround revealed four intact tires, so I didn't think much more about it.

After we packed everything up, I climbed in the Jeep and spied the pistol on the floor. It was facing in the opposite direction than that which I had laid it when I left it there, and there was a spent shell casing on the passenger's seat. It was then that I realized that it was a sunny day, so despite the cold temperatures, the inside of my Jeep had warmed up quite a bit, and apparently that gunked-up gunk that had made the pistol jam must have relaxed a little bit, and the bullet had slid in the chamber, where it had an encounter with the firing pin and discharged.

That's all. Nothing exciting. No shootouts with the police during a high-speed chase or anything. Just a gun that had a mind of its own.

So there.

posted by the fool at 5:53 AM 3 comment(s)
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
James Bond vs. The Fool
James Bond The Fool
Once played by Pierce Brosnan Once had a pierced ear
Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred Chocolate Milkshake, spoon, not straw
Skiied down a mountain in a cello case Skiied down a mountain on his butt
Death defying escapes from evil villains Death defying escapes from circumstances of his own creation
Once went into space as part of his job Once took up space as part of his job
Licensed to kill Licensed to fish
Once shot sixteen people in a movie Once shot a hole in the floor of his Jeep
Used a Bond-prepared bulletproof Aston-Martin Used Bondo to repair the bullethole in his Jeep
Moonraker Yardraker
Pussy Galore I wish
Drove a car that would release smoke screens and oil slicks, fire built-in explosive projectiles, and eject the passenger seat Drove a Jeep that would do all of those things, but always unexpectedly and never on purpose
posted by the fool at 5:45 PM 4 comment(s)